Young and old, we should all enjoy love on Valentine’s Day

VANCOUVER (NEWS 1130) – Valentine’s Day isn’t just about *young* love.

Cupid’s arrow flies true for folks in their seventies, eighties or even nineties, too, and one expert on “erotic aging” says there’s no reason they can’t enjoy all the delights of the holiday as much as anyone else.

“Many people consider sex to mean four minutes of foreplay and then the main event — that’s sexuality — rather than a buffet of possibilities,” says Dr. Don St John, a psychologist and relationship therapist based in Salt Lake City, Utah.

“That buffet is based on giving and receiving pleasure, pleasure-oriented touching and emotional intimacy. If those factors are present, then sexuality can continue and deepen into ones seventies and eighties as well.”

St John wants to redefine what we see as “sexual” and emphasize that emotional openness is a huge part of that.

“The willingness to let your partner or spouse know who you are, how you feel and what you desire is so important to keeping sexuality alive. Inhibited sexual desire is the number one problem that couples face,” he tells NEWS 1130.

But talking about sexuality and aging isn’t always easy.

“There are a number of reasons for that. It can simply be a continuation of them never having talked about it or sometimes it’s a result of a very narrow view of what sexuality is,” says St John.

“Within that framework, sexuality does diminish considerably as a person reaches their sixties and seventies. There might be hesitance or shame around that. People also harbour a great deal of shame about their bodies, about their desires and their sexuality. That functions as a dark room that keeps things from ever coming into the light of the relationship.”

St John believes open communication and a willingness to accept other forms of intimacy as sexuality are key to keeping romance alive in the bedroom — or wherever else you choose — well into old age.

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