Survey delves into positives and negatives of parenting in the age of social media

VANCOUVER (NEWS 1130) – As we head into summer, get ready for a flood of Facebook and Twitter photos of your friends’ kids at the beach, in the park or on the playground.

Moms and dads are posting more than ever about their children and a new survey from Today’s Parent is delving into how the first generation to raise their kids on social media is dealing with the online scrutiny.

“Social media is now a part of every facet of parenting, it’s inescapable,” says senior editor Lauren Ferranti-Ballem. “You belong to parents groups, you buy and sell used baby equipment, you’re looking for support or you’re posting funny pictures of your kids. We wanted to look at how Canadians are using social media and where they draw the line when it comes to sharing about their kids and families.”

Overall, the survey finds parents believe the positives of social media outweigh the negatives.

“Mostly parents parents have found community and that they can get advice and answers to their questions,” she tells NEWS 1130. “It has made parenting slightly easier, not harder.”

Though Ferranti-Ballem says there are certainly some pet peeves among parents on Facebook and Twitter.

“Over 70 percent of the parents we surveyed find that their friends share way too much about their kids online. But 26 per cent fell that they that they don’t over-share themselves,” she chuckles.

“The worst we’ve found among parents surveyed is the ‘serial poster’ — the person who posts every little thing about their family life, every time their kid has a tantrum, all the potty training struggles, you name it, they are sharing it. The second worst we found was the ‘over-sharer’ — the person who gets way too personal or shares gross details.”

Posting the perfect façade is also a sore point for some moms and dads with 72 per cent surveyed saying social media presents an unrealistic picture of family life. However, 31 percent say they feel no pressure at all to live up to that standard.

The survey also tried to figure out where the boundaries are for parents when it comes to posting personal information.

“Would you post a sonogram? Would you post a photo of a baby bum? Would you share your potty training struggles?

Some people think it’s perfectly fine because others are going through the same things, so why not be open about it.

Others believe those are details you don’t want to put out there unless you want your kid to hate you later in life.”

And Ferranti-Ballem suggests kids are savvy when it comes social media.

“Some parents reported their kids know how to pose, realizing the pictures will be posted on social media. Some children want their parents to post funny things they’ve said or pieces of artwork they’ve done,” she explains. “But when kids get older it gets a little trickier. It’s far easier to post content about your baby who can’t offer consent or prevent you from posting something.”

Judgement from others can also be an issue with 27 per cent surveyed saying they have felt their parenting has been judged online. Nine per cent say it has shaken their confidence as a parent.

“Judgement is out there. Any time you post anything online, you open yourself to that. People can comment from the anonymous safety of their phone or laptop. And it’s much easier to give feedback than it was — you wouldn’t pick up the phone and tell a parent she was doing a terrible job but somehow it’s acceptable and all too common to do it online,” says Ferranti-Ballem, adding that some parents have put limits on what they share online in order to avoid comments on their choices.

That said, she believes most families find more support on social media than judgement.

“It can be 3am, you’re not sleeping because your newborn is not sleeping and social media is there, your community is there, they are awake and easy to tap into.”

You can find the full Parenting in the Age of Social Media survey results in the latest issue of Today’s Parent.

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