Visceral campaign draws on regretful abusers’ efforts to be ‘a better man’

HALIFAX – An innovative, hard-hitting campaign is drawing on the regretful words of abusive men who are seeking ways to become “a better man.”

The Halifax non-profit group New Start Counselling based the anti-abuse campaign on the idea that the words of men should resonate with other men.

New Start, which has been offering counselling to abusive men for more than 30 years, has produced three stark posters.

Each poster features a black-and-white photo of a man from the neck down, behind an explicit message focused on the theme: how to be a better man.

One poster says, “I slapped my partner. I need to be in control. But I feel out of control. Can I be a better man?” Another says, “My wife makes me angry. So I push her. My son makes me angry. So I push him. I’m angry that I’m not a better man.”

The words come from abusive men who have taken part in counselling sessions with New Start.

“We wanted to be as authentic as possible and use the words that men use,” the executive director of New Start, Wendy Keen, told a news conference at police headquarters on Tuesday.

Heather Byrne, the head of a network of shelters for women and children leaving domestic abuse, said the posters represent a step in the right direction.

“Men get a message more directly from other men, because other men understand what the challenges are in being a man and being open and vulnerable,” said Byrne, executive director of Alice Housing.

“For too long, the focus has been on women and their situation. It’s still a knee-jerk response in a domestic-violence situation to say, ‘Why didn’t she leave? Why did she stay for so long?’ … Men have been left out of this conversation for a very long time.”

Halifax Regional Police Chief Jean-Michel Blais said it only makes sense to shift the focus to men.

“As police, we’re all too familiar with the tragic consequences of men’s violence against women,” he said.

“While we’re aware that men can sometimes be victims of domestic violence … We know that victims are more often women who suffer at the hands of men. Men’s violence against women is … a men’s issue.”

Keen said her small agency doesn’t have enough money to print and distribute copies of the posters. Instead, the group is encouraging people to download high-resolution copies from the New Start website.

With the equivalent of three full-time staff, New Start typically offers counselling to about 200 abusive men in the Halifax area every year. And the agency is the only group that provides such counselling, she said.

Police in Halifax typically respond to about 2,700 complaints about domestic violence every year, but the vast majority of those calls do no result in charges, said Staff-Sgt. Scott MacDonald, the officer in charge of the victim services branch.

Keen said her group isn’t keeping up with the demand for its services, which also include counselling the partners of abusers and their children.

“We could triple our staff load next week and we would still be busy,” Keen said.

MacDonald said the launch of the poster campaign comes three weeks after the police force appointed its first domestic violence prevention officer.

The new position, handled by a regular patrol officer, was created to ensure that particularly abusive partners don’t fall through the cracks.

MacDonald said between five and seven per cent of domestic abuse cases are flagged as being at high risk for serious harm or death, based on a rating system the police force adopted from Ontario.

Given the large number of domestic abuse cases Halifax police handle every year, Blais was asked if more prevention officers are needed.

“To turn around and just say, well, we need to add more people, without knowing the best way to approach this, I think is not the correct way to go.”